Fear is my biggest obstacle


I am an anomaly.  As always, whenever I get sick I end up leaving everyone scratching their heads.  It never fails, they run test after test and nothing.  Before my appendix was removed they did every test they could and nothing showed up.  My white cell count never budged.  It never changed then or ever.  I think they are on strike or something.  In the end they did exploratory surgery and my appendix was about to burst.  I’ve had my gallbladder removed.  No symptoms and them boom, sick as a dog and hospitalized.  I’ve had kidney stones before so I thought I had them again but they did a CAT scan today and nothing.  Now I have a consult with a surgeon tomorrow and I’m really scared.   I am the type of person who is afraid of IV’s.  I have nightmares of all the little holes they’ve put in my veins popping back open and then bleeding to death.  I know it’s insane.  So, now they want to cut me open to just rummage around for something unknown.  If only I can get past the IV……

Quote of the Day – Robert H. Schuller – “Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

God let me be one of those tough people.

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.”
―Ambrose Redmoon

2 responses »

  1. Hello Bug:

    You’re going to be okay. You’re not an anomaly, fear is a natural thing. Just know that Alaskan blood can withstand any IV. We Alaskans, just like the weather, are as tough as nails, and you my friend, are no different.

    Hope to read in time that you’re managing to derail the doubts and dread you feel. You’re actually stronger than you think, and obtacles were made to conquer.

  2. Donna,
    I am so concerned for you…have you thought of going to a larger medical facility where they have specialists? No offence but FB doctors have limited experience with obscure “anomaly” findings. Please do not go for exploratory surgeries w/out getting a second and maybe a third opinion. Maybe???Please think about it. Miss you and praying for you to have good health!

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