On the inside looking out


It has warmed up to -18 degrees F.  Still brrr.  I was in a lot of pain yesterday so I decided not to sneak outside for a picture. I still captured the snow covered landscape though….. through my kitchen window.  I had been cleaning my sink.  It is white porcelain so it always looks dirty.  It was the builder’s idea since he wanted to show off the house after it was finished.  He also threw in a white faucet.  I wish I had put more thought into that because now it is the bane of my existence.

Inside looking out on 365 ProjectI always think of my mom when I’m in the kitchen.  That’s why I have some of her things in the window sill along with a few other things that make me think of her.  That plant is a part from a plant she gave me when I moved into my first home.  My mom had a plant like that with really long vines that went all around the kitchen and over the doorway to the kitchen.  One day when  I was younger I went running through the house and a vine had fallen and was hanging across the  kitchen doorway.  I ripped right through it.  I was so upset that I had broken her plant but she said it was alright.  She put the end into a glass of water so it could root.  Many years later when I got married and was moving into my first real home my mom gave me that plant.  It is actually much bigger than the one in the window.  That is just a part that broke off and I did what she did and started another plant.  It was bigger but the vine touched the window and got too cold.  So now it’s looking a little sad.

When my mom died and I went back to Georgia for the funeral I found that glass box with little yellow silk roses and a little bird inside.  My sister said I should take it since I collect boxes.  My mom loved yellow roses.  Not because they were her favorite but because they were her mom’s favorite.  There is another shallow heart-shaped box there that has yellow roses painted on the lid.  On the other side of the plant is a small glass sugar bowl that was in her kitchen window.  I cried when I saw it because she always did that.  I knew right away what was inside…. the head of a silk rose and underneath were several apple seeds.  She was always trying to plant apple seeds from apples she ate.  Every now and then I clean the dish and count those seeds.  There are 27.  That’s a lot of apples.

The NaBloPoMo prompt for today is What is the hardest part about a beginning?

Not knowing how it will turn out.  I tend to be a perfectionist and want everything to be perfect.  Every time I start a new project I feel stressed because I want everything to be perfect but most of the time it isn’t.  When I start a crochet or knitting project I can unravel a wrong stitch and start over but some things can’t be fixed so easily.  Every time I pick up a paint brush to paint a picture I have this panicking feeling that I’m going to ruin it.  Life can’t always be perfect though and we still have to plunge in and do the best we can.  Sometimes the mistakes turn into small blessings.

I started crocheting a winter headband today.  It shouldn’t take me long to finish.  I’m following this youtube video by Crochet Geek.  I’ll probably post a picture tomorrow.  The yarn is really pretty.  It’s red heart Candy Print which is a variegated  yarn with dark pinks.  Very pretty.

5 responses »

  1. Since I’m getting to know you I would love to know what your health issues are. I see you are a pain but don’t see what’s causing it. Sorry if this is a nosey question to ask since we are just getting to know each other.

    We are always our own worst critics. From other eyes it’s probably perfect. One thing I always tell myself….No matter how bad things are they could always be worse.

    • I have fibromyalgia. I had to quit my job as a CNA in Feb of last year.

      You are right about people being their worst critic. Most of the time people don’t even notice the things I worry about.

  2. Donna–a very touching post about your mother. You should dry one of those apple seeds and plant it in her honor! i love the foreground framing of the scene to outdoors and the silhouette. ps. My best friend has fibromyalgia.

  3. I used to collect seeds from apples and various fruits and try to plant them but they never made it past a small seedling. Somebody told me the companies do something to them so they won’t propagate, but I’m not sure if that’s true but I never could get anything to grow past a puny seedling. ?? I love that your mom was always doing that and saving seeds.

    Cool, wide headband! I’ll have to check your next posts to see if you posted a picture of what you’re making. I’m behind on posts. Off to the next one… 🙂

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