Love & Respect


I have been thinking about this ever since last night because of a comment someone made.  So I decided to pose this as a question and see how many responses I get.

Can a person LOVE someone yet still not RESPECT them?  

So I was thinking about a person who isn’t treated very well at all and I often wondered why she would stay with someone like this.  People told me that she really loves him but does she really?  Or, could it be that she has never known anyone else….how could she know what true love is like?  Another person told me that he really did love her even though he treated her badly and I just don’t buy it.  How can someone be so disrespectful to someone he truly loves?

I think of my husband and I.  We have a lot of differences of opinion but still respect each other’s opinions.  Every now and then we get in a little…. spat….. and someone usually leaves the room.  We both sit in our different rooms simmering and rehearsing the whole thing our in our heads and in complete misery.  Neither of us can rest until we talk about it.  It doesn’t always end with agreement but it always ends with “I LOVE YOU”.  When you respect someone you can respectfully disagree.

My husband isn’t perfect either but when I speak of him in public I never say anything negative (even if I may want to it just isn’t appropriate).  Sometimes I joke and tease but so does he.  I know that my husband would never say something intentionally hurtful to me or about me.  There have been times when my husband said something that bothered me but I just waited and talked to him about it later and he didn’t realize what he said would upset me.  He is a guy after all LOL Once I explained why I was upset he understood and apologized.  That is respect and also shows that he loves me.

With this couple I am thinking of, he jokes about her weight in public and calls her demeaning names.  He doesn’t consider her feelings about anything as far as I have observed.  He complains about her cooking with guests present.  He complained when she needed to buy things for herself but has expensive things for himself which are not necessary items.  When she doesn’t feel well he complains that she is being lazy.

Is it “old fashioned” that he never asks her where she could like to go eat?  Is it really necessary that he comment on what she orders saying, “that will just make you fatter”?  Many times she has cried because he upset her but he never shows that he cares or apologizes.

She never says anything negative about him and always defends him.  Too bad he doesn’t respect her the same way.

So what do you think?  Is love possible without respect?

I’m sure you already know my opinion.  I think this person doesn’t love anyone but himself.

One response »

  1. People are drawn together for all kinds of reasons. There are healthy forms of love and unhealthy ones–but it is still love or a deep bond. When one has never experienced being treated in a nurturing and positive loving way and has little experience with good self-esteem or self-respect then it is easy to fall into a relationship with someone who treats you in that “familiar” way–even if it isn’t a good way. Not everyone is as fortunate as you are.

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