Category Archives: Health

I Plead the Fifth…. or kill you with my eyes

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WordPress Daily Prompt: What question do you hate to be asked? Why?

I hate it when I walk in someplace and someone sees me and asks the usual canned questions.  Most of the time, since people know I have health problems, I get this one.

“Donna!  How are you feeling?” 

I have fibromyalgia and I live with chronic pain… all the time, every day.  I don’t get better.  I spend most of the time cooped up in my house because every time I go out to do something if wipes me out.  If I make it to an event or to church (once in a blue moon) I always get asked that question by everyone and the last thing I want to do is tell the truth.

“I feel like shit, how about you?”  (Smile)

The thing that irritates me the most is that most people don’t really care about the answer.  It is just like when people say, “Hey, how are you doing?”  It is just one of those things that people say to have something to say.  I have had people ask me that dreaded question and then walk off before I could say anything so they could greet the next person and say, “Hey, so-n-no, it’s good to see you!  How have you been?”

It would be better to just say, “It is so good to see you” and leave it at that.

Of course I know people mean well.   It is just a matter of which shoes you walk in.  This has made me more aware of how other’s feel.  I think a little longer before I speak now.

Getting in shape

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Or changing the shape I am now.  I am tired of being a marshmallow.  Recently I went out with some girlfriends and we got pedicures and manicures

My Feet are the on the left :O)

and then went out to eat and then to a party after.  I had a lot of fun but when I saw the picture afterwards I was horrified.  I saw this one picture and thought, “who is that?” and it was me!  I wore this top that ties high above the waist and it looked like a maternity top on me.  It looked like I was 9 months pregnant!   I thought I looked good in that top but I guess I never look at myself from the side and I had eating a piece of cake that must have had dairy in it so I got sick to my stomach and bloated.  So now I am really working harder at losing weight.  Of course I still have to be careful not to cause my fibromyalgia to flare up.  I had this book on my bookshelf called “Kathy Smith’s fitness Makeover” and started it last week.  This is an old book – published in 97 but it still looks like a good book and has clear pictures to explain the exercises.  It is funny that they tell you to get a book that shows the calories for a lot of different foods when now that information is so easy to obtain on the internet.  Shows how fast things change these days.  I am using the book along with myfitnesspal.com.  The book has pages for writing in what you eat but I just enter it on myfitnesspal and it automatically tells me the nutrition information.   The book also has a toning fitness plan for each week and of, of course, my first attempt at that wiped me out.  I was down for a full day and a half and then still in pain for several more days.  Today is the first day I was not in pain so it took about a week to get over that.  So now I’ve decided to break the routines down across the week and each week of the plan I’ll spread across two weeks.  I just have to be a little creative here.  I do like having a set plan to follow though.  I think it helps me to have a routine and I use Cozi.com (a free calendar/to-do & shopping list application) to schedule times for workouts.  I also found that I prefer to snack throughout the day instead of having 3 meals which the book also recommends.  I plan out what I’m going to eat instead of just winging it and that keeps me from going overboard.  Hopefully I’ll start to see the pounds drop off soon because I need to see some results!

I’ve started watching a little girl that is going to be starting kindergarten this year.  Kindergarten here is only half days and I remember the hassle that causes us when my youngest was in kindergarten and I had gone back to work.  I was happy to help my friend deal with that without going bankrupt.  What I didn’t realize is how much fun I’d have doing this. This little girl is so sweet!  I bought out this box I have full of various headbands and hair things and small box of jewelry odds and ends and she is content to play with those things.  She loves to put them on me too.  Then we go over to the park to play.  She really makes me wish I’d had a girl but I’m done with having kids.  It would really be strange to have another when my youngest is almost 16!  I think I’m happy borrowing this little one.  I am also going to be teaching art classes to another young girl soon and I can’t wait till then.  This girl really enjoys art that focuses on nature and that is just right up my alley.  I am thinking of doing an altered book with her.  I found a nice sized book with a nice cover and it is an outdated law manual.  I hate destroying books but this one is useless now.  I’m excited to see what I can do with it.  

 

I’m still alive

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I have been in a hole…. a dark one.  That happens from time to time.  I’ll be tripping along through life full of optimism and trying to fill my days the best I can and then the ground falls out from under me and I find myself sitting in the dark with no drive to get up.  I am constantly reading anything that can encourage me but sometimes it just feels like I’m looking at people through glass store fronts and don’t have what it takes to get the happiness they have.  I feel so poor and dejected but I know that it is just a feeling and not reality.  It is depression.

I have had an increase in aches and pains lately which seems to contradict the beautiful sunshine that has been spilling in my windows.  Spring is coming and I have been waiting impatiently for it but since I have been so immobile because of the pain I have lost a lot of muscle tone.  My muscles are all tight and weak.  In an attempt to find something to motivate myself I called the Cooperative Extension at the University to inquire about gardening classes.  This is something I am passionate about.  I was disappointed to find that the master gardener class was already filled but I knew there was a chance I wouldn’t be able to keep up anyway.  They did tell me about a class being taught by one of the master gardeners and they said if I called “right away” I might be able to get in.  It was only $10 to secure a spot but the class had already reached its limit.  I must have sounded desperate because they told me if I came the next day with the $10 I could attend.  I did.  When I walked in she said, “Are you Donna?”.  I told her I was and she said, “good because you’re the last one I’m taking”.   I was so relieved and excited.  This is a lecture type class which is perfect since I can just listen and take notes and then use what information I need to improve my little garden.  That way I can make sure I don’t get in over my head.  My goal is to grow enough veggies for myself and for a little extra.  I want to take some to the Rescue Mission.

The only problem is I have a hard time sitting for the 2 hours.  My back starts to ache and I have to get up and move around.  The room is crowded and there isn’t much room (the chairs are packed together so everyone is elbow to elbow) and I don’t want to leave the room and miss anything.  The class is once a week for 8 classes and it is about half way through.  Every time I go to a class I come home in such pain I end up taking a stronger medication that knocks me out.  The pain continues through the next day too and it takes a lot out of me. I talked to my doctor and she checked me out.  She said some of my muscles are very tight and “balled up”.  She recommended massage and told me I needed to stretch and exercise – specifically yoga and some cardio type exercise.  I have found the huge exercise ball I have very helpful with this.  I lay over it (with it under my back) and stretch my arms to the floor.  This stretches that muscle that screams at me during the classes.  I did make it to church the Sunday before last but only for the first hour.  I couldn’t stay for Sunday School or anything else.  I was in such agony that I was shaking and didn’t want to get to the point where I couldn’t drive myself back home.  I’m glad the drive is a short one.

Exercising isn’t easy for me but I know I have to do it to get stronger.  Tonight is another class and hopefully this one will be easier for me.  Last time I took a small pillow to sit on and that helped.  It is just awkward taking a pillow to class.  Oh well, it isn’t like I’m a teenager anymore.  I have met a really nice couple there that I usually sit with.  I’m so glad to have met them even though I don’t know them very well.  I sit by the older man and we occasionally we find something to chuckle about.  He usually saves me a seat by putting his coffee on it and I’m grateful for that small gesture of friendship.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading these days.  That is actually ALL I want to do.  I just read two books that I had already read but couldn’t remember.  I guess I’ll never run out of things to read now that I’m getting older and apparently senile.  I loved the Blossom Street Series but when I was reading it before I was frustrated because I got the books out of order and then I found out there was a short story that tied into the story line that was part of a book called, “More Than Words: Volume 2”.  This is a book about real women who have made a difference in the lives of others and it is comprised of several short stories by well known women writers.  It appears to be an annual publication.  Volume 2 contained a story called “What Amanda Wants” which is about a teen-aged girl who found out her cancer had come back just before her senior year of high school.  She tied it in with the Blossom Street story and it took off right where the second book left off.  It is a very touching story and reminds me why I HATE short stories.  It never fails – if they are good they are always TOO short.  I love this series written by Debbie Macomber because it is about friends.  I think that is what I am missing right now.

Now I am going to finish reading that book of short stories which has 4 more stories.  I have also decided to read the Bible from front to back.  I’ve always planned to do that but have never made it.  It is funny how I always seem to pick up something “new” even from passages I’ve read several times before.   I am currently still in Genesis but I hope to make it much further than last time.   I am also reading a book on Tatting that I had started several months ago.  I love tatting but I haven’t made anything in a long while.  I picked that book up and found myself eager to try some of the ideas in the book.  This book is an older one that talks about even older techniques.  I love how they show ideas that very old and hope people will revitalize them.  I especially love learning about crafts that women did ages ago and learning how to do them.  Women used to make their own clothes and decorate them with special touches of lace they made themselves.  This book called “Tatting Techniques” by Elgiva Nicholls has really inspired me.  My library really wants it back though and I better hurry up and finish it.

Well, I plan on coming back tomorrow and the next day….  I think I need to write and exercise my “bean” too.

diet riot

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okay, I fell off the wagon and gained some weight back.  I feel like crying.  I haven’t been logging to my weight watchers online log.  I haven’t exercised for a couple of weeks and yeah, it shows.  I have gained about 4 lbs back!  I’m so angry at myself!!!!!!!!!!!  But anyway, I’m going to get back to doing what I should have been doing and logging to WW and exercising again.  I can do it….

Pretzel picnic

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Whenever I am sick, especially when I’m nauseated, I retreat to my bed with hot tea and a bag of pretzels.   It always makes me feel better.  I’ve had a migraine (or something) and nausea for over a week…. thursday was a week.  I finally went to the Dr on Thursday when I was seeing dancing lights and having pain in my neck along with the headache and nausea.  He said he sounds like I am having migrains and he wants to do a brain MRI on Monday.  That will not be fun considering I am claustophobic AND I hate IV’s.  They are going to sedate me to get me to go into the machine and they have to dope me up in order to do the IV to sedate me.  Am I piece of work or what?????  Well, I am praying they find some grey matter and nothing but.

No, I’m NOT preggers.