Even though I have always worked really hard at being awake during the day time so I can enjoy the sunshine these days I find myself hiding from it. My eyes are horrible! I think I’m turning into a vampire or something. Maybe a hybrid of some sort so instead of going up in flames in sunlight my eyes just feel like they are. The last couple of days have been beautiful but I stayed in my room in the dark. I can’t stand to have the light on or look at a lit screen for long. I’ve been reading by the little slit of light that comes from the edge of the curtain in my room and listening to music. I can’t wait until I get my crazy prescription sunglasses! I have been putting the drops in my eyes like the doctor ordered but my eyes still burn. I just want to fill the tub with ice water and stick my head it and open my eyes.
Yesterday I ended up sleeping most of the day since the allergy meds make me tired. After the sun with down (as far as it goes here in Alaska) I went out and took my dog for a stroll through the park and played around in my garden a tiny bit. After the walk I didn’t have much energy left. Today I slept a lot but woke up around 1pm. I came out to hang out with the family but couldn’t handle the light so I retreated back to my room – and the dark. I realized there isn’t much to do in my room. I really don’t spend much time in there. I got out my Kindle and played with that some. I can read for a while with the screen set to a yellow background but then I have to take a break from it to rest my eyes. I forgot how much I love my Kindle fire! I read, played games, read some more, listened to some audio files, looked at every single app available on there and then read some more. UGH, I was so bored. I couldn’t crochet or knit or anything like that because my eyes were blurry and it was dark. I listened to my husband hanging out with the boys though. I love him so much for being such a good dad. He was going to go out with some friends but decided to stay home instead and hang out with the boys. They watched movies and played cards. They play Magic the Gathering and between the three of them they probably have enough of those cards to fill a small room. I love listening to them all laugh though.
My husband and the guys made dinner and I really wished I could have eaten at the table with them but I just couldn’t. There are a lot of windows in the living room/kitchen area- my favorite thing about this house actually. One of my boys brought me dinner in bed with a big glass of orange juice. They made chicken fettuccine and garlic bread. I’m so blessed with such a wonderful family.
After a while the sun went down and I went outside and tried to dig around in my garden. I put my seedlings out and set a timer to remind me to take them in. I need to harden them off still or the wind and cool air will kill them. It was surprisingly warm out though! I thought I could work in my garden until the timer went off but after a little shoveling and a lot of swatting at the mammoth mosquitoes I was beat! I looked at the timer and it had only been 12 minutes! I went inside for a little rest and then went back out and worked a few minutes in the back yard. I got tired again and went back inside to rest and then the timer finally went off so I could bring the plants in. I’ll do a little more tomorrow. The guys and I (hopefully are going to do some yard work. I found my husband’s sunglasses so hopefully I can stand being outside so I can direct them. While I was in my room playing on the Kindle I made some “to-do” lists with an app. Since the boys are home from school I am going to put them to work.
It really is frustrating to have to hide from the sun after waiting all winter for it.
Did you know that Fibromyalgia effects eyes? I’ve had a problem with dry eyes for several years now and when I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia they told me the dry eyes was another symptom/component of the fibromyalgia. What I didn’t realize though, that it would get worse and actually affect my vision. Sometimes I wake up and my eyelids are literally stuck to my eyes. I have to wiggle my eyes around as much as I can to loosen them up and as soon as I can get some drops in them. A few years ago my eye doctor gave me a clear salve to put in my eyes at night and heavy drops to help keep them moist during the day. These things help but only for the sort term.
This spring I started having problems with my eyes watering heavily any time the sun was out bright and as an added bonus I get migraines from bright light. When the trees started to produce pollen things got even worse. I blamed it all on the allergies but started to wonder when it didn’t get better. Another thing that bothered me was that although I always have seasonal allergies they never affected my eyes like this before. My eyes were like waterfalls (with tears literally dripping from both cheeks) and everything looked blurry all the time even when they weren’t watering. I haven’t been able to drive much and occasionally I’ve had to pull over because I couldn’t see. Most mornings I wake up feeling like I have a few grains of sand in my eyes but using drops doesn’t wash them out. It just stings. I finally went to the eye doctor and he said I have conjunctivitis from the allergies and sever dryness. He prescribed allergy drops and steroid drops to help with the inflammation. I will also need to wear dark glasses anytime I’m out in the sun. I ordered some prescription sunglasses that are extra dark so I will either be looking “fly”…. or like a big scary fly. We will see.
Before I left though my eye doctor told me that these problems will never really go away. Just like the Fibromyalgia…… it is another part of my new life that some people seem to consider a “vacation” or “plenty of time to do whatever I want”. Now, in addition to all of the medications that I take daily, I will always be using the heavy, oily drops and salves to help keep my eyes from drying up into little brown raisins and now special prescription drops for allergies…. and how often can you safely use steroid drops in your eyes?
When I went to pick up my prescription eye drops at the hospital, my heart sank as I saw the place I used to work and some of the people I used to work with. I really enjoyed that job and worked hard to get it. I was blessed with the time I was able to work there. I miss being able to help other people instead of always worrying about my own and what will happen next… Hopefully some of these things will get easier.
First, it was really bad. I woke up feeling awful….. at NOON! I went to bed kinda late last night but before midnight so I really didn’t expect to wake up after noon. I’ve been having a lot of problems with my eyes burning. I get really dry eyes and I have special drops and this gel stuff that I put in my eyes at night. Apparently it’s part of the Fibro fun. It’s getting worse though and for the last few days I haven’t been able to see very well so I couldn’t read my book. Grrrrrr
Okay, so then I took some stuff and after a while started to feel better. Yay. I started thinking about Valentine’s Day and what I could do for my husband this year since I have no money. I need to get creative. My husband isn’t into the cheesy stuff so I need to think of something sweet, unique and cheap. Hmmmmmm anyway, I ended up going pinterest crazy. I pinned about a million things today. I was going to put some here but couldn’t decide which ones and there are a lot. So you can click here to check out my pin board called “My Valentine So Sweet“. If you need an invite to pinterest just holla! Of course I didn’t find what I was looking for…… but I will figure it out.
Then, when I decided I wanted to watch American Idol my TV wouldn’t work….. you know the TV that is networked to the whole house. I wish I could just turn on cable and watch TV like normal but noooooooooooooooooooooooo. I was so bummed because this is the first year I have ever watched American Idol while it’s going on. I’ve only watch youtube after it was over…… sometimes years later LOL I actually just watched the last two years this winter…..backwards. Not actually backwards but I watched 2011 first and then I watched 2010. Of course I didn’t see nearly as much as there was since youtube deletes everything. Anyway, I was pretty upset that I couldn’t watch the show but my kids told me to just wait because it looked like it was being recorded. It was set to record as a backup. That was a good idea! Well, after the show was over and recorded my kids started working on it and now at almost midnight it is actually working! So, I can finally watch American Idol today…. and tomorrow since it will be past midnight when it’s over.
So, bad day……… good day….. bad day…..good day…. done!!!!!!!!